Self-Care Musings from Design by O.H.
On my way back to the parking garage after a medical appointment last week, I found a small sticker tucked underneath the rear windshield wiper blade of my car. It said, “Daily Reminder Self-Care is NOT Selfish”. I looked around at the adjacent cars and noticed none of them had any stickers. Now, I do not know why the anonymous person left this particular sticker on my car and it may seem like a simple gesture, but it was exactly what I needed to hear that that morning. I removed the sticker and when I got home, I pasted it on the cover of my iPad to serve as my daily reminder because I need it.
Majority of the women I know, including me, juggle multiple roles and tasks at any given moment in time. We are caregivers to our family members both young and old, schedule planners and managers for our dependents, grocery and clothes shoppers, cooks, problem-solvers extraordinaire, psychics, house managers, drivers, active members of our communities, students, entrepreneurs, and, in case you thought I forgot, full-time workers in our chosen professions. We run multiple shifts in a day- before school, work, after school, evenings, nights, and weekend shifts. Our minds are constantly running- planning, organizing, and executing the small and big stuff alike. Our calendars are filled with this event or that. We do our best to show up for our loved ones and work hard to succeed professionally.
Amid that daily whirlwind of busyness, it is very easy to either forget, postpone, or neglect doing one thing which is taking care of ourselves. We think it can wait or sometimes even that it is not important. We feel we are needed and that we are the only ones who can do this or that. Nobody else can. For those of us who are perfectionists there is a self-imposed added layer- it must be done in a particular way or else it is not good enough, and only we can get it done right. So, we do not delegate even if it means foregoing some moments of free time or rest. We carry guilt if we are truly unable to make it for an activity, particularly our children’s, even if the other parent, grandparents, other close family members, or close friends can make it. We want to cook healthy homemade meals for our family even when our time is very limited, and we spend precious time cleaning, so our homes look perfect. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Phew!
As time has progressed for me, particularly over the past decade, I have started realizing the importance of carving out “me time” on both a consistent and spontaneous basis to do something just for me. A good friend of mine told me time=money, and as such to not feel guilty about outsourcing certain things when I could afford it to free up time for me to either spend on myself or with my family uninterrupted. I am still learning, but things that I am practicing include:
- Periodically ordering prepared meals in bulk from a local caterer which can be frozen and consumed over several weeks.
- Frozen homemade potpies from my local farm store which I can pop into the oven and have a delicious meal ready in an hour.
- Housecleaning services once a month.
- Sharing my children’s appointments with my husband so we are both involved.
- Having my children do some of the house chores even if it may not be done perfectly.
The biggest one of all for me is learning to say no without guilt or explanation. I am learning and practicing the three B’s for me- Boundaries, Blocking time, and Booking appointments- so I can do the things I should and need to do for me such as medical appointments, exercising, getting enough sleep (still a work in progress), getting a mani-pedi, going on an outing with a loved one, revisiting an old hobby, or learning something new. Last is being kind to myself and doing my best to live with intention.
It is by beginning to practice these things that I started Design by O.H. Each of my bag charms is intentionally made and given a special name and meaning to remind the wearer about who they are, their unique qualities, and strengths. Life is busy, messy, and can get overwhelming, but we need to remember daily that “self-care is not selfish”. To the person who left that sticker on my car last week, I say Thank You for the kind gesture and reminder. To you, my reader, I say take time for your self unapologetically. Dress up according to your mood and let your unique personality shine. Be you!
- O.H.